I can be anything I wanna be

I have become so systematic.

I feel better if I have my everyday "to do" list

springtime

Music is my rescuer
Taio Cruz - I can be

Negative thinking has a big power! It is so overwhelming!
Music helps me to escape! :)
Everything is gonna be alright!


pretending to be who I'm not has slowly been eating my soul

grrr

Ja kaut kas "uzkrīt" uz nerviem, tad tu vairs tur neko nevari padarīt.

Mani kaitina,ka viņa dzied. Izklausās briesmīgi (tieši tagad. gribu iet un iesist pa seju).
Riebjas,ka iet un šļūkā kājas.
Pēkšņi sāk dejotun dziedāt ejot.
Runā par tēmām par kurām NEKO nezina.
Aizmiegot rubina vienu kāju pret otru.
Skatās TV 30cm attālumā (nepārspīlēju).
Miedz acis mēģinot ieraudzīt pulksteni uz mana galda.
Viņas pakešu iepakojuma papīrīši nepārtraukti mētājas uz zemes.
Dara visu pēdējā mirklī un tad čīkst,ka nav gulējusi visu nakti.
viņa domā, ka viņai ir laba balss (jā, joprojām dzied).
esot nenormālusi izsalkusi, bet pieēdās neēdot praktiski neko.
guļ ar krūšturi, šortiem, bieži aizmieg ar visām drēbēm.
vienmēr lasa SKAĻI
nepārtraukti sūdzās cik te ir slikti,kā grib tikt projām no šejienes, bet neviens cits bez manis to nezina.

+(pēc 2 dienām)
bet tik un tā bez viņas es nespētu izdzīvot vispār
paldies tev

One of the million thoughts, which was running through my mind

If somebody would buy me a flight ticket for going home tomorrow, I...
What would I do? It's just 2 months left.
I dk.
Hate thinking

not my day

I was reading a Latvian "Shape" and there were written some things how to become happier in your life; it said: check through your friends...
Yap! That's my problem; I have no options.
Those immature and dumb people are killing me.

movies

You're drinking when you want to escape from the world around you.
I'm a nerd.
In place of drinking I AM watching movies.
Time when I can forget who and where I am makes me feel better.

I can't stop thinking; sometimes it's so hard to fall asleep.
My body is tired, but mind keeps goin'

It's better to stay quiet

Everyday conversation:
A:"Hey! How are you?"
B:"Hi!! Good! And you?"
A:"Pretty good!"
B:"That's good!"

I just don't want to fit in American world. That is not for me.
I'm proud about the place where I come from.

Sometimes when I'm looking into pictures when I was back home, it feels like the girl I see in the pictures is not me - she's happy, beautiful, satisfied with life, always smiling... But know - tired, exhaused, with fake smile...

But there is left just a little bit.
AND I'M FREE! I can manage my own time know. I can decide what to or not. It feels so good!
And Spring is coming, that it what I need.

I won't stand that kind of life for 4 years, so I have understood that it's the right decision to leave this place forever and ever.

I'm afraid that I am taking the easiest way by returning home - I'm giving up. Am I?

There are no days when I don't think about being home.

Your feelings are result of your choice. Every day there is a choice, if it is going to be a good or a bad day, and you're the only one who are making the choice for yourself.

You are the master of your life and destiny!

Spring

I love this spring time!
I'm calmed down because I know - I will be home soon!
This hard year reality made me understand that world presents big diversity of people. Everybody is different. I can't dispraise those who are not like me. I have agreed to situation around me; it made my life easier. I know, this all is just temporary.
I'm earning experiences...
Day counting doesn't help! Now I just let the time to go... And it's going faster :)

Quote of the day - Why sun is shining, if they never eat their plate completely clean? :)