even tho it sounds so heartless but alone ure nothin’;
only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile

I bet u agree wit me Santa :)

relationships fulfil life

Just let it be and enjoy it!

I hate that he is giving up that much because of me ...
I think that he might be starting to regret it...
first of all, my task now finally is to make it right and not let it happen (:

Un jūs arī vienkārši dažreiz neejiet gulēt vēlā vakara stundā, jo gribās vēl nedaudz "pagruzīties"?

īpatne

Dažreiz liekas, ka iekšēji esmu tik nelīdzsvarota, neparedzama, garlaicīga, atšķirīga, vāja, apātiska, viegli ievainojama, dīvaina, īpatnēja...
pašai paliek no sevis bail ->
labi, ka citi īsti nezina, kas notiek ar mani vienatnē manā galvā

ārpusē no tā gandrīz nekas nav redzams, pamanāms
baisi ne?

Ak dievs, kā tas gads mani ir mainījis! Neatgriezeniski mainījis!!

No šodienas, 2010.gada 14.oktobra, es apsolos saņemties, sapurināt sevi, jo nekas jau slikts nav noticis - mana dzīve ir skaista, esmu pie savas ģimenes, savās mājās, dzimtenē; man ir uzticami draugi,kas palīdzēs, iedvesmos, sniegs padomu; otrā pusīte,kas samīļos; komanda,kas atkal man ir ļāvusi spēlēt ar prieku.

kāpēc vispār ir iekārtots tā,ka cilvēkam ir jāēd? ka cilvēkam gribās ēst?
man sāp vēders, esmu pārēdusies
nejūtu mēru...

stupid question

Lately I have heard from several people that I look older than I really am. I was just wondering - when is that age boundry, when someone thinks that you're older than you are, is still acceptable as a compliment?

20 gadi ir skaists vecums - tu esi jauns, reizē arī jau pietiekami pieaudzis.
Personīgi, visstraujāk es pieaugu pēdējā gada laikā - tik tālu,ka pašai ir pat grūti sevi atpazīt.
Dažreiz man ir tāda dīvaina sajūta, kad es iedomājos, ka tas, kas tagad notiek, nekur nepaliks. Viss piedzīvotais, iemācītais paliks, spilgtākās sajūtas arī nekur tālu neizzudīs. Balsoties uz savu pieredzi es arī iespējms kādreiz kļūšu par mammu. Mamma, kas ir tusējusies uz nebēdu vidusskolas gados, bieži dejojusi uz bāru letēm, apmeklējusi interesantus iecirkņus (bērniem par to ne vārda); garšojis ir pat tik daudz,ka no rītiem rokas trīc. Tā ir tikai mazā daļiņa no melnā manī. Bet es nesatraucos, jo bez melnajām daļiņām ir arī daudz citas krāsas. Un tomēr, ja arī "paveiktos" un tās melnās krāsas nebūtu - vai tad tā būtu es?

smoking can kill, but it can relax as well

Kā cilvēks var tā mainīties gada laikā... Ne jau fiziski, bet emocionāli un garīgi --> esmu strauji novecojusi

life

why am I so inexperienced in all this shit?
Because i trust him and believe that he won't give up, that's why I am torturing him so badly?

today was too philosophic
i'm sleeping in tomorrow so I can clear my thoughts

viņš

es jūtu,ka viņš ir manī tik ļoti ieķēries/iemīlējies
es nezinu, vai es varu teikt to pašu..

100%

Esmu 100%,ka mana izvēle palikt Latvijā bija pareiza!
Es esmu no tiek cilvēkiem,kas tālu no mājām pilnīgi citā kultūrā nespēj dzīvot.

I'm freakin perfectionist.
I just killed my research paper! I'm proud of myself! :)

Finally I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Tradīcijas

Mūsu mazajai valstiņai ir DAUDZ vairāk tradīcijas nekā milzīgajai ASV.

varbūt tas ir tāpēc,ka ASV vienkārši ir pārāk liela un ar pārāk daudz iedzīvotājiem - grūti apvienot, ieviest kopīgas tradīcijas.

Tapēc labāk ir dzīvot mazajā Latvijā!

Hell yeah, 26 days.

Feelin' good

The sun is shining, and the time is passing.
I will cry so badly on 16th May. I hope that I'll see her again some day.
I want to go to D.R!

atklāsme

that wasn't a life, it was just basketball and basketball, and more basketball.
EVERYWHERE!!!!

36 days

Now I know that everything is going to be alright.
That which does not kill me, can only make me stronger.

I was afraid that things will change when I won't be there, but now I'm sure that I have changed.
I'm better.

so true

I can be anything I wanna be

I have become so systematic.

I feel better if I have my everyday "to do" list

springtime

Music is my rescuer
Taio Cruz - I can be

Negative thinking has a big power! It is so overwhelming!
Music helps me to escape! :)
Everything is gonna be alright!


pretending to be who I'm not has slowly been eating my soul

grrr

Ja kaut kas "uzkrīt" uz nerviem, tad tu vairs tur neko nevari padarīt.

Mani kaitina,ka viņa dzied. Izklausās briesmīgi (tieši tagad. gribu iet un iesist pa seju).
Riebjas,ka iet un šļūkā kājas.
Pēkšņi sāk dejotun dziedāt ejot.
Runā par tēmām par kurām NEKO nezina.
Aizmiegot rubina vienu kāju pret otru.
Skatās TV 30cm attālumā (nepārspīlēju).
Miedz acis mēģinot ieraudzīt pulksteni uz mana galda.
Viņas pakešu iepakojuma papīrīši nepārtraukti mētājas uz zemes.
Dara visu pēdējā mirklī un tad čīkst,ka nav gulējusi visu nakti.
viņa domā, ka viņai ir laba balss (jā, joprojām dzied).
esot nenormālusi izsalkusi, bet pieēdās neēdot praktiski neko.
guļ ar krūšturi, šortiem, bieži aizmieg ar visām drēbēm.
vienmēr lasa SKAĻI
nepārtraukti sūdzās cik te ir slikti,kā grib tikt projām no šejienes, bet neviens cits bez manis to nezina.

+(pēc 2 dienām)
bet tik un tā bez viņas es nespētu izdzīvot vispār
paldies tev

One of the million thoughts, which was running through my mind

If somebody would buy me a flight ticket for going home tomorrow, I...
What would I do? It's just 2 months left.
I dk.
Hate thinking

not my day

I was reading a Latvian "Shape" and there were written some things how to become happier in your life; it said: check through your friends...
Yap! That's my problem; I have no options.
Those immature and dumb people are killing me.

movies

You're drinking when you want to escape from the world around you.
I'm a nerd.
In place of drinking I AM watching movies.
Time when I can forget who and where I am makes me feel better.

I can't stop thinking; sometimes it's so hard to fall asleep.
My body is tired, but mind keeps goin'

It's better to stay quiet

Everyday conversation:
A:"Hey! How are you?"
B:"Hi!! Good! And you?"
A:"Pretty good!"
B:"That's good!"

I just don't want to fit in American world. That is not for me.
I'm proud about the place where I come from.

Sometimes when I'm looking into pictures when I was back home, it feels like the girl I see in the pictures is not me - she's happy, beautiful, satisfied with life, always smiling... But know - tired, exhaused, with fake smile...

But there is left just a little bit.
AND I'M FREE! I can manage my own time know. I can decide what to or not. It feels so good!
And Spring is coming, that it what I need.

I won't stand that kind of life for 4 years, so I have understood that it's the right decision to leave this place forever and ever.

I'm afraid that I am taking the easiest way by returning home - I'm giving up. Am I?

There are no days when I don't think about being home.

Your feelings are result of your choice. Every day there is a choice, if it is going to be a good or a bad day, and you're the only one who are making the choice for yourself.

You are the master of your life and destiny!

Spring

I love this spring time!
I'm calmed down because I know - I will be home soon!
This hard year reality made me understand that world presents big diversity of people. Everybody is different. I can't dispraise those who are not like me. I have agreed to situation around me; it made my life easier. I know, this all is just temporary.
I'm earning experiences...
Day counting doesn't help! Now I just let the time to go... And it's going faster :)

Quote of the day - Why sun is shining, if they never eat their plate completely clean? :)

Latvija

Paldies ASV!

Es tagad esmu lepna,ka esmu latviete. Un zinu,ka negribu būt nekas cits. Latvija ir labākā valsts pasaulē. Ne jau visiem, bet man!

Krīze. Visi brauc prom, es atgriežos... Zinu,ka sliktāk jau nebūs - es būšu mājās pie savējiem.

This is How I am

I can admit - I am really shy person. I have been like that since I remember. It is hard for me to start conversation with people I don't know.

Here I have turned into quiet, boring person. Why? Because people here don't understand me; they don't understand how it is to be so far away from home. Most of them never had been out of the country. They think that everybody live like they do. And, therefore, they think that's the best way how to live.


They probably think that I'm arrogant or something. Whatever. I don't care. I have ignored my values by trying accepting them. But something is missing - intelligence, wisdom, sincerity. Switch on Disney channel and you will see how "smart" youth is (Yes, my peers watch that stupid channel). They don't want to be the smartest; they want to be the most popular. They don't have high values and that is hard for me because I have.


And REMEMBER! Don't believe about anything you hear, it's probably lies; and don't trust to anybody, he/she probably is lying and will tell everybody what you just said (to make it more interesting probably will add some things up).

I JUST WANT TO BE MYSELF!

Gardums

Man tik ļoti sagribējās sen jau arī Latvijā izzudušos "Rīgas Salmiņus".

Saldos Rīgas salmiņus.

Īsti, nedmodificēti saldumi.

Esmu priecīga,ka mūsu kaimiņvalsts ir Krievija (nekad nebūtu domajusi,ka to teikšu). ASV un Krievija ir divas pilnīgi atšķirīgas kultūras. Samākslotība, jaunība it visā, prastums vs. vēsture, patiesums, gudrība.

Kartupeļu biezeni ar karbonādēm noteikti nevar salīdzināt ar chicken strips un french fries(Cena: 8.49$, garša nekāda, ne miņas no īsta ēdiena - maizes garoza uz cāļa ir lielākā daļa ēdiena, kartupeļi taisīti no pulvera, apcepti 100000 l eļļas ---> un tā saucās normāla ēdienreize).

Smaids

Smiling is a facial expression which appears when you are happy, satisfied, amused, amazed. I smile to my friends, family - people I love. It is something special. I don't waste it. My smile is not for everybody!
I find it very annoying when unknown person walks by me and puts his GIGA-MEGA smile on his face.
I wished I coud just go and slap him on the face.
I could never be an american.